The Ultimate Guide to Love, Lust and Sex in Panama
This Panama Sex guide was originally published in 2013, and is constantly being updated with new and interesting information. It is the only reference of its kind on the web. If you are looking for sex in Panama, this is a must read.
The Panama Sex Guide does not accept advertising and was not paid for any of the recommendations below. It is solely on my experience over the years in Panama City and my quest for lust and love in Panama.
- By Christopher Martin
As you may have heard, drunken Secret Service agents, Whitehouse staffers, and employees from the Department of Homeland Security, who were visiting Cartagena, Colombia in advance of a stopover by President Obama in 2012, got caught hiring a number of professional women. According to Fox News and CNN, a total of 12 men brought women back to their rooms. Some of these admitted to paying for sex, and others say no money exchanged hands…I guess it was their natural magnetism or true love. None of the government representatives has said they “just cuddled,” and there was no little blue dress with questionable stains involved.
Subsequently, we came across this top secret cable from Panama to the United States:
Dear Sr. Obama,
While we appreciate your advance team spreading the message of democracy and shining the light of the Whitehouse on the women of Latin America, there is no need to go all the way to the congested and dirty city of Cartagena. We have the best of the best from Colombia, as well as many other nations, here in Panama. When you next send out an envoy of love ambassadors, I suggest you visit us here. We are much more discrete than noisy Colombia, and my friends at the Panama Sex Guide will be happy to direct you to those who need of your message of hope and change the most!
President Ricardo Martinelli
And this brings me to my point: Why go all the way to Cartagena, when there is an unofficial United Nations of love and sex love in Panama City? On any given day, you can find beautiful woman from all parts of Colombia, as well as Cuba, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, China, and, every once and a while, Russia and Eastern Europe.
Where to find Sex, Hookers, and Escorts in Panama City
Where, you ask, might a discerning gentleman meet these women in need of a lesson in democracy and capitalism? There are a number of excellent spots in for sex or love in Panama City, such as the banking district and El Cangrejo area – all within walking distance or a 5 minute cab ride from your hotel. For the more adventurous or frugal, the hardcore action is in El Dorado, about 20 minutes from the center of the city. No matter where you go, chasing sex in Panama can be an adventure!
Banking & El Cangrejo Districts
1. Le Palace: Top Colombian talent is usually at Le Palace, which is in the banking district, near Habanos (below), the Marriott Hotel, and next to my favorite Italian restaurant, Tre Scalini (Calle 52 – Bella Vista). Le Palace puts on a cheesy French style striptease every 20 minutes or so, which means you have 20 minutes between “performances” to chat-up the girls and negotiate if you want to take one out.
There are about 35 girls in this small club, each dressed in a revealing white thong uniform, which means you know what you are getting before you pay. But, pay you will to take one out of here. Expect to part with $400+ depending on the girl, with half going to the house (exit tax).
2. Elite II: The best strip club in the banking district is Elite II. It’s located at the intersection of Calle 50 (primary business thoroughfare) and Calle Uruguay (party central), across the street from Hooters.
Elite is the only American style club in the business district where you can enjoy a guy’s night out, watch real strippers, and not spend a fortune. Entry is about $25 to $45 including free open bar, with all you can drink beer and all you can drink liquor options. Of course, this does not include beverages for the girls, which add up quickly if you want a honey to sit with you. I think you need to buy about 10 drinks at $14 each, or pay the equivalent, before taking a beauty home. However, my memory in this area is a bit fuzzy, as I am quite inebriated after this many cocktails.
Tip: It’s about 10 drinks for the girl you take home, not the total number of drinks you buy. So, if you purchase 5 drinks for honey A, and then switch to honey B, you must buy another 10 thirst-quenchers. In addition to the drinks or exit tax, expect the sweet lass to ask for $200 to $300.
Elite provides a clean and safe environment in a secure part of the city. I strongly recommend it over the options listed below in El Dorado for guys traveling alone (not in groups) and newbies to Panama. However, the clubs in El Dorado allow you to take care of business in their back rooms, while there is no love to be had inside Elite. Just remember, no matter what an Elite stripper tells you, there is no sex in the Champaign room! If you need a reminder, checkout this classic educational video by Chris Rock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9yBPcn8IqU
While the talent levels at Le Palace and Elite II can be exceptional, taking a girl home is expensive. If you will be in town for a while, it’s better to fill up your cel phone contact list with numbers from these bars, and then head to the Veneto Hotel or Habanos Cigar Bar.
3. The Veneto Hotel: The Veneto Wyndham Grand Hotel has been a Panama sex destination for decades and is still one of the best and safest places to meet entrepreneurial women from around the world. If you are visiting Panama as a single gentleman, stay at the Veneto and walk the second floor bar and casino in the evenings. If you find what you are looking for, you can take them up to your room with no questions asked and no need to leave the hotel.
Most nights there are 15 to 30 girls working the casino, some playing slots, some at the bar, and others walking around smiling at guys on the prowl. Unlike the clubs, the girls at the Veneto are independent contractors, with no money going to the house. This means prices are lower and the girls show up when they feel the need. I’ve been to the Veneto on a Friday when it was filled to capacity, and other times when it was empty. You never know what you will find, but when it is good, it is great.
Prices are negotiable, but should range from $100 to $150 for an hour and about $150 to $350 for the night, depending on the talent level you desire. If you get a quote significantly higher than this, you’re wasting your time…throw that one back and move on quickly. If you’re a rookie, the Veneto is the place to start your journey in to Panama City’s night scene.
Tip: As most of the working women live near the Veneto, in the part of the city called El Cangrejo, you can often catch a stray by sitting on the patio at Manolo’s café, which is directly in front of the Veneto.
4. Habanos: Another Panama institution of higher love is the Habanos Cigar Bar (sometimes referred to as Havana Club). It is located across from the Marriott Hotel and, like the Veneto, is usually filled with business minded young women. The bottom floor is an open-air bar serving strong drinks and selling cigars. The women are standing around, and will sit and chat for a drink. However, they don’t get a cut of the drinks here, so they won’t stay to long if a deal is not eminent.
Most travelers, and even some Panama connoisseurs, don’t realize there’s a mini strip club on the second floor of Habanos. While it is small, and the dancers are not up to the quality of Elite, it can be a blast. It has a laid back atmosphere to which you can take a girl from downstairs, hang out for a while, and not spend a fortune on drinks. It’s also a good way to assess your potential merger target before making a serious investment.
The Panama sex scene is a relatively small one where everyone seems to know everyone. When I sit on the Habanos patio for any amount of time, I am certain to hear about it from my female friends the next day. I’ve found heading upstairs, and calling honeys to join me there, is the best way to preserve what’s left of my reputation.
Tip: While some of the lesser known and less expensive cigars at Habanos are authentic, the Cubans are as fake as a Colombian’s bust line. If you want a quality cigar for your night out, buy it from the vendor / booth near Tony Roma’s Restaurant in the Multiplaza Plaza mall, which is the in the Punta Pacifica area of Panama City.
Panama Bars – Clubs and Bars in Panama City are Great Fishing Spots
5. Asche: The newest Panama sex bar featuring girls of questionable occupation is De Ashe on Calle Uruguay, about 2 blocks from Elite II, and near my favorite steak restaurant in Panama, Groucho’s. It’s a Cuban / Caribbean style bar, with low cost drinks, loud music, friendly females, and in the middle of the party street. Action seems to get started late here, around 11 PM, so it is not for those early morning flights.
Asche is a cool nightclub in Panama with live music and a large dance floor. Like the other freelance options, prices should range from $80 to $120 for an hour and the girls don’t get a cut of the drinks you buy, so don’t take up their time if you have no intention of closing the deal.
6. La Bodeguita VIP: The other Panama sex bar and dance club working girls are known to frequent is La Bodeguita VIP on Via Espana, near the Veneto Hotel. Several years ago, there was a club on Calle Uruguay called La Bodeguita, and VIP was their second, “fancier” offering. The original La Bodeguita was one of my first introductions to the Panama nightlife scene, oh so long ago. These days, with the club showing its age, the VIP moniker is not that appropriate, but it is still a cool place to drink, dance and meet interesting people.
While I have never met a companion in La Bodeguita VIP, I have been there several times with my significant other, and took note of the abundance of hotties…much to the distress of my date (now ex). If you wanted a night of dancing, without going too far from the Veneto, or you wanted to take your new 20 something girlfriend out for a spin, La Bodeguita VIP is a good low cost choice. You can find this bar’s YouTube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqVE4kWhWn4.
Note: De Ashe and La Bodeguita VIP are popular bars in Panama, with both working and nonworking girls. Be careful when approaching a woman or you may end up with a drink in your face.
A Night to Remember
Run the Circuit: My recommendation for a guy’s night out in the city would be to start with the big Delmonico’s steak from Gaucho’s on Calle Uruguay, hang out at Elite II for a couple of hours (leaving with phone numbers, but keeping most of your cash in your pocket), smoking a stogy at Habanos, stopping by Asche to check out the action, then heading to your hotel, the Veneto, for a nightcap. Of course, if you meet “the one” along the way, bully for you. Plans change and you can always try to complete the full circuit tomorrow.
I would also like to remind the reader that most of the places above are filled with working women who are independent contractors. They may be supporting a family back home, putting themselves through school, or just picking up some extra cash. Some nights these places will be packed with top quality talent, while others are quiet as a tomb. Some nights are better than others and the girls move from bar to bar at whim. So, you may need to put in some effort to find your soul mate.
Sex Time Emergency
This completes my list of worthwhile sex spots and bars in the banking and El Cangrejo areas of Panama City. Of course, all of these are nightspots. But, let’s say is 2 PM on a Wednesday, you have been unable to reach any of the ladies in your phonebook (which you filled up at Elite II and La Palace), you came up dry sitting on the Manolo’s patio for lunch, and you are in urgent need of company. Well, the massage parlor next to the Veneto is always open in an emergency (not the spa inside the Veneto…go out the front door, turn to your right and down the stairs). Expect to spend $80 to $100 for a full service massage from a hardworking lady of the afternoon who’s a 5 or 6 out of 10. Note that Gold Fingers below is far superior to the Veneto center massage parlor, but can be quite a drive depending on traffic.
Experts Only in El Dorado, Panama City
All of the Panama sex spots above are high dollar and cater to well-to-do Panamanians and tourists. Where, might you ask, do the local working people go for fun and frolic in Panama City? I am happy to tell you, but, be warned, I only recommend you visit these places in groups and with someone in the know.
Most of the quality cost effective adult sex bars are in the El Dorado area of Panama City, which is the only suburb I will consider here. El Dorado is a commercial area about 20 minutes from the banking district, though it can be one hour with traffic.
If you want to make a weekend out of mongering in El Dorado, you might stay at the El Dorado Country Inn and Suites, which is next to a Friday’s Restaurant and within walking distance of Club Miami. This hotel is in the El Dorado shopping district, borders the Metropolitan Natural Park, and about five minutes from the Albrook Shopping Mall. Albrook is the largest and best of the “local” malls, where regular folk shop. This place is enormous, with at least three food courts, movie theaters, and more stores than you can count.
In general, the talent in El Dorado will be more experienced (ie. older) than that found in the banking district and the high dollar clubs. Here, you will find a lot of Colombian MILFs sending money home to their families, rather than a 19 year old looking for a quick buck. To save money, some of them live at the clubs where they work during their 2 to 4 month stay in Panama.
1. Miami Club: The best local nightclub / strip club / sex club in Panama is Miami, which is in the El Dorado shopping complex off of Tumba Muerto. It is on a major street in the shopping district, and thus in a secure zone. At Miami, you can buy a liter bottle of booze for about $50 and drink all night on a budget.
Friends I have taken here have called Miami Club a little bit of heaven on earth and their best experience in Panama. While the talent is just below Elite II and Le Palace, prices are half and there are rooms in the back in which you can fulfill your fantasies. This means no exit tax, hassling with taxis, paying for a Push (Panamanian word for hourly hotel), risking something being stolen from your hotel room, etc.
The action here starts after 9 PM, so plan to make an evening of it. As with most bars, the girls’ drinks are extra. Her liquor will cost you $15 each, and she gets about $7 of that. So be warned…these girls are thirsty!
2. Capri: The toughest of the El Dorado, Panama sex clubs, and often the most fun, is Capri. How tough is it? You drive in to a large fenced and secured area, are frisked before entering, and there is a guard with a machinegun at the door…it is serious. The last time I was there, my group was accompanied by two bodyguards and an armed driver.
Capri is big, old, and dark, with an elevated stage for the dancers. If you are there on a Friday or Saturday night after 9 PM, there might be 30 to 40 girls. If you are there any other time, there may be only 3 or 4 honeys…usually one pretty one.
The girls “rent” the little rooms in the back, and some live at the clubs…either full time or on the weekends. Thus, their quarters are generally clean and well kept. The Panamanian price for 30 minutes is about $35, which includes the girl and the room. Watch out for the gringo price, which may be around $65. There is no need to haggle with the girl; transactions are done with the cashier.
3. Gold Fingers: The best of the El Dorado massage parlors is Gold Fingers. It is located just past Miami in the Niko’s Café center. Here, you will receive a full hour of quality attention for under $100.
Picking your masseuse is an experience in itself at Gold Fingers. Here is how it works: The Madam will sit with you while you make your selection, chatting away, but she doesn’t speak English, so you will be lost the first time around. The girls will each walk in, shake your hand, and introduce themselves. They’ll have a number for easy reference, so don’t worry about missing their names. After the parade, they will lineup and you make your selection. If none of them fit your Shakira fantasy, you are free to leave, no harm, no foul, and no money lost. Once you pick Ms. Right Now, you pay the cashier $90 and the girl will take you up to a room. The rooms are small with a massage bed and not much else. Surprisingly, some of the girls actually give a decent massage, while others just want to get down to it. There is no quality control on this issue, all the girls are different.
For a nooner, or a weekend delight, Gold Fingers is sure to please. If you are in the area, it is a great way to close out a weekend of debauchery and your Panama sex tour.
Musical Interlude: If you are heading to Panama and need some tunes to remind you of why you travel, checkout this video, Ladies and the Drinks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suGcpp_DTzE
The Girlfriend Experience
So, you’ve met that special someone and would like to spend some quality time together. Where might you go and not be subjected to sour looks from older married women and knowing nods from their husbands? There are a number of friendly places for the Panama sex tourist in the banking and El Cangrejo areas, along with several to avoid.
First, give the girl a break and don’t drag her to the Panama Canal. She has probably been there to many times to count and will be bored out of her mind as she nods and smiles through the experience. Gringos wanting to go to the canal, and believing it’s the girls first trip, is a running joke among the young ladies, so don’t bother.
The Best Advice Ever: Avoid the shopping malls at all costs. If a girl gets you in Multiplaza, even on the pretext of seeing a movie, I guarantee you will part with a couple hundred dollars in one store or another. After the movie, she will want to “walk around” for a bit, pop in to a particular store, and then you are done for.
Even if you want to buy honey a gift, don’t take her along with you. Your plan to spend $100 will turn in to $300+ faster than you can blink. Head to the hooker clothing store Studio F and buy a gift card. I guarantee she will be thrilled and you will spend what you want. Studio F is a popular woman’s clothing store from Colombia located in in both downtown malls, Multicentro and Multiplaza, and near the Veneto on Via Espana. To get there, go out the front door of the hotel, turn right to the main street, walk left and it will be on your left. If you go down a bit further, there is a Studio F outlet on this same boulevard.
Where to Hang with Ms. Right Now
Where can you go to take in a movie, full of cuddling and romance? To avoid hostile looks and shopping woes, take your new significant other to the Bennigan’s center. This building is on Balboa Blvd., just after Multicentro, and offers a Bennigan’s restaurant, a good sized sports bar (Bennigan’s Tavern), a movie theater with VIP seating, and a cool bowling alley on the top floor. Spend the extra money for the VIP theater with its reclining chairs and waiters to bring you drinks at the push of a button. If you are up for bowling, go there first and make a reservation.
After the movie, the restaurants where you and your soul mate will draw the least attention will be those with Colombian waitresses. These are Bennigan’s Tavern, Hooters (intersection of Calle 50 and Calle Uruguay), and Chillin Bar and Lounge (see: http://www.chillinpanama.com). All of these are fun places to hang out with friends and good options for watching sports. Obviously, these are not great spots for foodies!
Want a crazy night? Take most Colombian darlings to watch a Colombian soccer match…you will have a blast, especially when the Aguardiente shot bottle comes out. If you really want the Colombian experience, take her to watch a match at Rinconcito Colombiano, which is a restaurant and bar off of Calle 50 in the San Francisco part of Panama City (the opposite end of 50th street from Hooters, so take a taxi). Unlike Bennigan’s and Hooters, this place has good food at reasonable prices, as well as live music on the weekend.
Note: Bennigan’s Tavern and Hooters don’t seem to worry about those pesky immigration laws and employ mostly hot, young Colombians without work visas. If you are staying in Panama and want to find a regular girl who might not be concerned with an age difference, these are interesting places to go fishing…trust me on this!
Real Food for Your Real Love
If the eateries above don’t fit your discerning palate, most of the establishments near the Veneto Hotel are hip to the game and happy for your business. The two fancy fisheries are Siete Mares, an older and traditional seafood restaurant, and La Mar, a modern Peruvian style ceviche spot (see: http://www.lamarcebicheria.com). Both are on Calle Guatemala, in the same center as the Power Club gym. There is a Mexican restaurant in this same center, but it is overpriced for what you get.
For a more laidback atmosphere, I recommend Beirut, a Lebanese and India style restaurant with a cool patio area for drinking and smoking hookahs (hookers and hookahs, always a great combination). Like Habanos, this place is in front of the Marriott Hotel and is a common hangout for both working and local young people. It brings in a very diverse crowd and you will have no issues meeting your love interest here for dinner.
Another old school dining spot is Chalet Suizo – 1985. This place serves Swiss and French food, has been around forever, and knows where to seat you when you come in with your “date.” Chalet Suizo is on Calle Eusebio A. Morales, the street just past the Veneto. To get there, walk out the front door, turn left, then imminently right, and it will be on your left, about half way down this very long block. They know me well here, as I lived just down the block in Marquis Tower for about two years.
If you are looking for something off of the tourist radar, but still within El Cangrejo, check out La Tasca de Angel (also known as Bar Angel). This is a Spanish style tapas (small plates) bar on Calle Alberto Navarro. It is the bar version of one of the better seafood restaurants, Angel, on Calle Via Argentina and offers unique tapas with exceptional service….exceptional service in Panama means they visit your table once every 30 minutes and 75% of your order is correct. They always bring at least one dish in error, but I have enjoyed the divergence from my original dining plan. Bar Angel is behind Restaurant Angel, so you can get to it from both streets, though, you can’t see it from Via Argentina.
As I said above, my favorite restaurant is the old steak house Gauchos on Calle Uruguay, a couple of blocks down from Elite II and Hooters. This Argentinian style steak place has great cuts of cow and some offerings not often found in the U.S. It ain’t no Ruth’s Chris or Morton’s, but it is darn good…and they do enough tourist business that they’ll have no concerns with you and your Colombianita.
Note: There is a steak restaurant in Hotel Veneto, which is overpriced and not that good. Don’t bother eating there, unless you are desperate.
There are a couple of places to avoid on Calle Uruguay when you are with a lady who may not be in your traditional age grouping. For example, La Posta is a high end restaurant frequented by politicians, and one of the best places in town. However, it is not a hooker friendly establishment. The same can be said for Market, another steak place, and the nightclub People. I’ve seen outright hostility in Panama Bar People, which is often filled with rich, entitled, young Panamanians who look down on the Colombians with complete distain.
Get Out of Town with your Panama Love
If you want to really impress the little lady, get out of town! If you have picked the right company, you won’t pay a dime (at least, if you travel Sunday through Wednesday), will have a great time, and she will show you how much she appreciates the attention time and time again.
My favorite city escape is the all-inclusive beach hotel, Sheraton Bijao Beach Resort. It’s about 70 miles from the city and offers decent food, nice rooms, excellent pools, music and dancing in the evenings, and a big white sand beach. I spent New Year’s 2012 there and it was perfect. Rates vary dramatically by season, but may be around $200 per night for two people in one room. Considering this is all you can eat and drink, it’s not bad. For additional information, see: http://www.starwoodhotels.com/sheraton/property/overview/index.html?propertyID=3693
If you are in a group and a golfer, checkout the Summit Golf Course, which is about 45 minutes from the city, just after the second set of locks to the Panama Canal. You and your buddies can play a round while the girls hang at the pool. For the best rates, get the golf package sometimes available on the Radisson website: http://www.radisson.com/paraiso-panama-hotel-pa-0844-2014/pangolf. It’s a jungle course, so be prepared to lose your balls.
Words of Warning
At this point, I would like to give you a few words of caution. There are many clubs, bars, and massage parlors in throughout Panama City. I have listed those I’ve enjoyed, and left off those which I feel are too high risk, or those which are just too nasty to be worth a visit (such as Bombonera on Via Transismica). Also, a few good clubs, such as Crazy Horse and Cotton Club have been out of business for years, but are still listed in various web directories. Believe me when I tell you: I have suffered on your behalf doing my due diligence on this matter and give you the benefit of my hard earned knowledge in this article.
For example, I am aware of the very cost effective club called La Mayor at the entrance to Casco Viejo, Panama City. While Casco is a safe and vibrant area with many great restaurants and bars, La Mayor is not in the “secure zone” of this community. This club, along with the others on the block, is known as the Fish Market for a variety reasons. For example, love will cost you less than a fish dinner…I will the other explanations to your imagination and and just tell you to stay away.
And here comes the best advice / warning one traveler can give another: If anyone tells you to check out the clubs on Calle Cuatro de Julio (Fourth of July Street), decline and never speak to that person again. Cuatro de Julio is famous for having only transvestite hookers (in Spanish, chicas con una sorpresa). Ask any Panamanian about Cuatro de Julio street and you are certain to get a strong reaction.
Cuatro de Julio is about two blocks over from the entrance to Casco Viejo (driving in, to your right, just like La Mayor). Another couple blocks in that direction (west) is El Chorrillo. Suffice it to say that this entire area of the city is dangerous at night. Avoid any bars or restaurants in this region, no exceptions! No gringo has any business here after dark and no discount hoochie is worth the risk.
Conclusion: Now Go Forth and (Don’t) Multiply
I hope you found this dalliance in to the underbelly of love and sex in Panama interesting and helpful. To summarize, I recommend newbies to Panama stick to the bars and clubs in the banking and El Cangrejo areas of the city. For the more experienced, or those with an local guide you trust, El Dorado provides a cost effective option with much more local flair. If you’ve sown your wild oats and are ready to settle down with someone not concerned with an age difference, establishments like Hooters, Bennigan’s, and Rinconcito Colombiano are good places to begin your quest. Remember, age and other issues which are often taboo in the United States are not a concern in Panama.